THE DANE OWNERS CHECKLIST
How do you know if you really own a great dane? 
Well its easy , you know you are a great dane owner when....
- the power company requires you to relocate the electric meter to outside the fence
- 3 year old twin girls come over to your house and ask if your fawn dane who just had his ears cropped and bandaged in orange tape is really a baby raindeer
- the Doberman actually walks under your seven month old puppy
- your dog goes from 12 pounds to 102 pounds in 8 months
- people actually ask before petting your dog
- he wears your t-shirts
- when you get out of your car there is a small crowd of people are staring at your dog saying things like oh my gosh its huge, and thats the biggest dog I have ever seen and son don't get close to that thing
- you buy a chest freezer just for the dog food
- HE walks you
- you jump 3 feet when he barks
- your freinds put things were the dog won't get it and the only one in the house that can reach it is the dog
- your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis, and a personal plane
- while stopped at a traffic light everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out of the window
- the monthly dog budget exceeds your home morgage payment
- the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose
- you purchase a large screen tv and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the tv
- your new neighbor excitedly told you he found bear tracks in his garden
- you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name but you have know idea who they are
- you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle
- you keep at least one color coated drool towl in every room in your house
- your two dogs decide to play in the house and they end up pulling the celing fan down (for the second time)
- a five year old girl approaches you to ask Why are you walking that baby cow? 
- a car drives by stops and backs up to you the driver rolls down his window to ask "Excuse me thats a dog isn't it? When you say yes he turns to his wife and says "See I told you so nobody walks a deer!
- you see a chihuahua and mutter under your breath "My dog craps bigger than that"
- you go to a feed store you visted just once (last year) and they remember you
- you have no window screens left intact on your house
- your t-shirt has paw prints on the shoulders
- you build a fence to contain your dog and suddenly you can't see your neighbor's house
- the neighborhood kids sneak up to the gate on their way home from school and say " See I told you so"!
- your friends refer to your dog as the great pain
- your known at the local hardware store as the guy with the dog project
- every knick-knick in the house resides above the 5 foot mark
- you have to explain to a guest why she just sat down on a wet toilet seat
- you are covered in bruises and no one calls the police
- someone is following to closley and you want them to back off so you have your dog stand up-thay drop back 10 car lengths
- the pet food distributor delivers directly to your home and the dog food is delivered by 3/4 ton trucks
- you wish someone would make a rawhide bone that would last more than 5 minutes
- you have to explain to the insurance adjuster that those holes in your homes pillars are not termite damage
- you walk your dog and someone ask you "Is that dalmation on steriods"?
- when other dogs see your dog they are confused as to just what "it" is
- you tell company to watch out for land mines before going into your back yard
- when you bring your dog home and take him for a walk the first time the noisiest dogs in the neighborhood fall silent
- your 110lb puppy just dosen't understand it when the other dogs bark at him and run away
- you find yourself consoling a 150lb dog and reassuring him that the 4 lb kitten didn't mean to hurt his feelings
- your food bill at the store was $75 and all you bought for yourself was eggs
- Dobermans and german shepherds look small
- the holes in your yard must be straddled with the mower or you will never be heard from again
- the city garbage collecters draw straws to see who has to walk by the fence to get the garbage can
- it takes 3 attendants to lift your dog onto the vet's table but only if he is cooperating
Well I hope you all got a laugh out of this page believe me I have been there done that with every one of these little comments.
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